Inspiration

Sometimes I think it would've been so much easier if God had just called me to be a nun. At home, the responsibilities never stop. Someone always needs something, and the to-do list is endless. I catch myself daydreaming about a quiet life focused entirely on prayer, cut off from these daily stressors. But then I remember Saints Thérèse of Lisieux and Faustina. Reading Story of a Soul and Divine Mercy in My Soul , it's obvious their cloistered lives were incredibly hard. It was just the specific path the Father willed for them. My path was the standard script: college, medical school, marriage, and four kids. I truly believed God was dropping hints along the way through timely acceptances and academic milestones. But the memory that really haunts me is 9/11. I was seventeen, just three blocks north of the Twin Towers. I still ask, Why am I here when so many others aren't? That survival feels like a massive responsibility to follow His direction. So here I am, juggling a m...

My Cross Dear Jesus,  In this season, as in many before, I have felt so distant from You. My cross can feel overbearing. While I should be grateful for my family, I am most commonly the opposite. I feel starved for attention and respite. Bitter at the need to be constantly humble. I react with anger and impatience rather than with the submission of you ask me to be.  Stabbing, searing, loneliness and despair. Giant, twisted trees of wood rising into the sky.  The piercing heaviness of the cross. You received Agony for my sins. Took on my suffering and understood it. JP II said You have made room in Your suffering for me to participate, to know your love.  Paul says to rejoice in it.  Help me to offer my pain to You, to empty myself so you can fill me.  Not my will, but your will be done.  Jesus, may I trust in You.

  What is justice? So often I feel entitled, that I am owed something. For so many of us, pride accompanies our drive for "success". What is perceived as a good career, or ideal family structure, or living environment, surrounds me in my daily interactions and ways of life.  In actuality though, who am I, in the grand scheme of things? Almost nothing. A speck of dust, and all the more reminded of this during the season I write this in (Lent).  It is Jesus who I must strive to emulate- He is my Rabbi, yet I so struggle with incorporating his ways, his meekness, and loving others without desiring power, glory, or something else in return. As declared in the book of Isaiah, He does not cry out when He is wronged. He does not fight to correct others, but is gentle and perfect in grace. The "bruised reed" (Isaiah 42:3, quoted in Matthew 12:20) is a metaphor for He who is weak, downtrodden, or spiritually broken.   It is frequently paired with "a dimly burning/smolde...

  Following Jesus  We are all called to be disciples, but it is not easy. Each day is a spiritual battlefield. Personally, I so love enveloping myself in God's word, studying and pondering the wide variety of lessons and events of the Bible, yet then carrying out the teachings is an entirely different task! I am a coward and weak. Physically tired while also emotionally weary, I regularly don't know how to begin when I am told, "Take up Your Cross". But most standout of the Bible is its conclusion, where Christ commands, "You follow me!", delegating to each of us a unique mission, one special to me and no one else. We are placed in our moment in time and place for a reason. The whys and hows may not come easily though, and with the countless distractions, particularly from the online realm, I many times feel helpless.   Yet to be a disciple is to humble oneself just as our master did, serving the Lord first through the smallest of ways. I can think of circum...

Mk 16:9-15 Apr Go Into the World and Preach! Why is it so hard for us to speak about our Lord? He has given up everything for us.  Despite the many miracles and proof that we have, we can be avoidant, passive and lukewarm. I have often told myself that, had I lived in Biblical times, it would be so much easier to believe. Having face to face contact with Jesus, He would be right in front of me. How could I deny Him? Yet as even Peter, the future head of the Church, did, why would I really think I would be different?  So I ask myself, what can I do to spread the good news? Where to begin?  I have recently joined the enemy of AI to try and use it for good, mainly by only relying on it for furthering my faith. When typing in terms such as "lukewarm" and "2025 Catholics", I found some disheartening facts, that for example, only  about three in ten U.S. Catholics say they attend Mass weekly or more often, that the number of Americans who were raised Catholic but no longe...

Nunc Coepi- Now I begin. My season of Humility is now. With a family of 6, my husband and I share responsibilities that many outsource, alternating the day to day tasks of caring for our four children ages 10 to just under 1. While he seems to effortlessly get through meal preparation, dishes needing to be cleaned, and shuttling our kids around the many ways I keep them out of the house, most days I feel coming up far too short, and barely staying afloat. Most of the time when it's my turn to be home, I quickly give in to exasperation, with frustration and exhaustion early on. I just can't seem to manage the little tasks that seem to never end, at least not with the love God desires of me. Humility seems very countercultural. Society teaches one should try to build themselves up to be the best they can be. In essence, this results in status and power. Kids go to school and are taught they can do anything. They are also encouraged to be popular, or the top of a class. Unconsciou...